Don't say goodbye
by heartbreakingXbreathtaking
Summary: Mitchie loves Shane and knows that he loves her. But what if love is not enough? Trying to feel my way with this whole rating thing so let me know what you think! And about the story of course!


-1So this is not the happiest story but I wasn't in a very happy mood when I wrote it so that probably have something to do with it.

And I also want to say that if my spelling and grammar is screwed up it's because, well English isn't my native language so…In this story there's no Connect three, their not famous. Oh yeah! I still don't own Camp Rock, I just borrowed the characters and had some fun with it. On with the story!

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She can tell the exact second he steps out of the shadows and into the circle that the blinking streetlight leaves. Even though her Ipod is blasting music into her ears, it is in fact so loud that she's sure she's gonna be half-deaf tomorrow. At least the music helps to numb the pain, somewhat anyway. You know what really would help to numb the pain, a very big amount of tequila, she tells her self as she can feel him getting closer. She knows that the pain she feels right now is nothing compared to the pain she'll feel when this night is over. The pain they both are going to feel. She sees a movement in the corner of her eye and turns to face him. He's soaking wet, which isn't that surprising since it's pouring down. She's pretty sure she looks like something the cat dragged in but she couldn't care less. Her eyes travel from his chest up to his face, those lips that can make her burn like no one ever done before. And probably never will. Those lips that make promises they both know he can't keep. And those eyes. Those eyes that tell her that he wants to keep his promises. It is those eyes that draw her back in over and over again. But not this time. She makes a gesture for him to sit but he remains standing in front of her.

"Caitlin, your roommate told me you were here and you wanted to talk to me."

"I know who Caitlin is." she replies quietly. He laughs. It's a nervous laugh, it's as if he knows what's coming. But he couldn't. Cause he thinks everything is fine. Things are always fine if you ask Joe. If you would ask her, the answer would be something completely different. But he has never asked her, not once.

"Right. Err…So what was it you wanted to talk about?" There's still some insecurity in his voice but it's fading, just like her determination when she looks at him. He has always had the power to captivate her, mesmerize her and take her breath away. And that was when he was just sitting next to her. She had to force away images of her and him together and him doing things to her that made her heart almost jump out of her chest.

"Us." One word, but a world of meanings. She sees him stiffen and knows what will follow. The excuses, the accusations and finally, the distractions. Oh, how she loved the distraction part. No, no, no! No thinking about the distraction part. Don't get distracted. She mentally slaps herself. So since she knows what is coming, she never let him get very far.

"What do you…" she puts a finger on his lips.

"Just listen ok?"

"But…" She shakes her head.

"No, Shane. Don't talk and just listen. Really listen to me for once." he nods slowly and she takes a deep breath. Now that the moment she waited for all day is here, she just wants to forget the whole thing and hide in his arms. But that's what she has done all the other times, so many times before. She can't chicken out now. Another deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about… about us Shane. Or the lack of it actually." He frowns.

"What do you mean "lack of it"? Of course there is an us." once again she shakes her head.

"No, there isn't. And there hasn't been an us in a very long time. Not for you anyway. There are you and then there's me. You have your life and even though I have done everything I can to involve you in my life, and to get involved in yours but there's nothing. Not a single sign that you're interested in what I do or what goes on in my life. And you won't let me be a part of yours!" He shakes his head.

"That's not true!" She gets up from the bench and takes a step closer to him.

"Yes it is! It's like you want to keep me separated from everything else in your life. Think about it Shane. We have been together for eight months and I haven't even once met anyone in your family!"

"I told you! My parents travel a lot and my brother is always working!"

"That's a shitty excuse and you know it! So what if your parents travel a lot and your brother is always working? They have been here to see you a whole of four times since we got together. Not one of these four times did you ask me if I wanted to meet them! And when I ask you if you want to meet my parents you always have some lame excuse."

"They were not excuses, I was busy!" He runs a hand through his hair with a frustrated gesture.

"Yeah, I'm sure you were. That's the whole problem! You're always busy. There's always something more important going on. Something that is more important than I am. And I'm sick of it. The only time you have time for me is when your friends has other plans or when you want sex!" He tries to reach for her but she shakes his off hand. She suddenly feels weak and sinks back down on the bench. "I'm sick of it Shane" she whispers and feels tears starting to form behind her eyelids. She looks up and sees tears in his eyes to. He sinks down on the bench beside her and grabs her hand. She lets him.

"I…I know I haven't been that good of a boyfriend lately but I promise you that it will change." she shakes her head hand lets out a small, sad laughter.

"Don't make promises you can't keep. I am so sick and tiered of you promising to change, that it will get better. It never gets better. It's not like this is the first time we have this conversation. We both know that things won't change. Not unless I make them." His hand tightens around hers, he knows what she's going to say.

"No." One word, one meaning. She smiles, a smile that never reaches her eyes. She really doesn't want to do this but she has to. For her sake, and for his.

"You know I love you Shane. More than I ever loved anyone before. Maybe even more than I'll ever love someone. And I know that you love me. But we're in very different places in life. You're not ready for a relationship."

"Yes I am!" His objection comes to fast for her to actually believe it. Not even he believes it cause a moment later he shakes his head and sighs. "No I'm not. Your right. He looks at her with an expression of pure heartbreak." But I don't want to lose you. I really do love you Mitch" She smiles a soft smile and strokes his cheek.

"And I love you. But to continue this wouldn't be fair to either one of us. It wouldn't be fair to me because every time you promise me that things will change I get my hopes up and every time I end up with a broken heart." He opened his mouth but she held up a hand to stop him. "And it wouldn't be fair to you either. I know I'm not the only one who's hurting. You shouldn't be pushed into something you're not ready for." He shakes his head again and places one of his hands on one side of her face.

"You're not pushing me into anything! I want you, I want this! I want us!" This time she believes him. She truly believes that he wants the same thing she does. But she also knows that what you want and what you're get is something two very different things.

"I know you do but you're not ready." He sighs and nods. She feels the first tear travel down her cheek and he wipes it away. But he can't wipe away every tear that stains her face cause they're falling pretty fast now.

"So…" He trails of, it's like he's afraid of asking the question. Cause once the question is asked there's no going back. Once it's out there the only thing left is the answer and they both know where that will leave them. "Where does this leave us?" now it's her time to sigh and she leans in to the touch of his hand on her cheek. After all, it might be the last time she ever gets to do that.

"Maybe someday, when we both have had a chance to grow and to do things we wanna do we can find a way back. Back to this, to us." She can see that he's trying to be strong and blink away the tears but that he's not having very much luck.

"So, this is goodbye?" He whispers and she shakes her head furiously.

"No! This is not goodbye. Don't say goodbye. Say… She smiles and even though her heart is breaking, the smile reaches her eyes this time. "Say, I'll see you later." Then she stands on her toes and captures his lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. His lips have never felt this good and neither has his hands as one of them tangle it self in her long, chocolate brown hair while the other slips under her soaked shirt and up her back. She can feel that he puts everything he has, every feeling, all the love he feels for her in the kiss. Just like her. She never wants to let him go but knows that she has no choice. So, even thought everything in her screams no, she pulls back. With one last look in his eyes she tells him that she loves him and then she walks away. She can't believe she's actually doing it. She's actually walking away from the man she loves with everything that is she. But at the same time, she knows that it's the right thing to do. For both of them. She haven't gotten far before she hears his voice.

"I'll see you later, Mitch." She smiles through the tears and knows that he's telling the truth. She will be seeing him later, there will be a later for them.

"I'll see you later, Shane." She responds before she disappears into the night.


End file.
